top of page

Sex Envy

One particular holiday weekend, where many events and parties transpired, I experienced something I’ve never experienced before and am quite ashamed to admit: Sex envy.

Sex envy, quite simply, is when everyone around you is suddenly getting laid and therefore, you feel that you must too. The first night of this holiday weekend, we had a party at my apartment. I was friends with everyone who came over, and everyone who slept over hooked up.

I slept alone. I made the fatal flaw of not ensuring that someone I was interested in making out with (or more) was there. However, it never once crossed my mind that I’d feel a little jealy of everyone else the next day. I did. It was straight-up sex envy. I was not about to be outdone.

The next night, a different group of us went out. We started out with the NJ Devils players; my friend was hooking up with one of them and therefore we decided to meet up with them first. Talking to these hockey players was even worse than talking to a wall (they were painfully shy) so one of my girlfriends and I left Devil’s girl behind and hit another party that this boy I used to hook up with told me about.

Once we got to the new party, instead of attempting to mack it with the tried and true, I met ex-lover’s friend and immediately had a new target. A super cute young guy who just seemed way too easy. He and I talked the whole night while our friends slowly left one by one, and as time went on, I just kept thinking how cute he was and how easy this would be.

We left and did the deed. I didn’t even know his last name yet. I just couldn’t bear to be the only person who didn’t get some that weekend. He was cute, right in front of me, and all I had to do was make a move. It was definitely going to be a yes on his end.

While I’d never done the one-night stand thing before, I am absolutely not ashamed to say that I have. I came, I saw, I conquered. All parties won that weekend: no feelings were hurt and all egos were boosted. So, while sex envy does exist and is not the best feeling, it promotes people to get it on everywhere. And I think everyone, especially in our stressed-out society, can use a little more sex in their lives.


bottom of page